At this stage in my journey, the Loving-Kindness and the Subtle Mind, have been very beneficial for me. I have been doing one or the other every day.
I practice the Loving-Kindness for two reasons. One for sending loving-kindness to those I love and then I practice it because there are those I still feel some resentment towards. This practice allows me to continue to let go of the resentment holding me back from reaching a deeper peace and serenity. Specifically, I turn my attentions toward my mother and my ex husband, each for different reasons. This aids me helping to forgive them without dealing directly with them. Dealing with them directly about issues has never worked and I continually work on accepting them for who they are. I still have a relationship with my mom but it is not the one I would prefer and I need to let that vision go in order to enjoy what we do have. I have not spoken to or seen my ex husband in over 3 years. I prefer it this way but I still need to work on letting my anger toward him go.
The Subtle-Mind practice just brings me a sense of deeper awareness. It really does allow for the mental chatter to be unclogged from my brain. It still amazes me how just 15 minutes a day can make me feel rejuvenated yet calm and centered.
I will continue practicing these daily and I plan to move it to twice daily when I feel I'm ready.
Take care!
Ellen,
ReplyDeleteYou have understood a key component to what we have been trying to do in this class. You are aware of what areas you have to focus and direct positive energy/light to to help you heal even though you are not ready to fully let go. And you have accepted that within time all feelings will dissolve, all good all bad all will just be and you can see that will come when it needs to. If you need to hold on to these emotions these feelings, their is nothing wrong with that, they are a part of you you need not be ashamed or fearful of these thoughts or attitudes they are all a part of you, so when they leave they will still be a part of you but now they will also be a part of everything and within that there is absolute beauty. I think your well on your way to practicing these exercises twice a day.
Rox.
I can definitely relate to what you are saying. It can be difficult dealing with parents sometimes. You want to love them and hate them at the same time. Although my mother and I argue I still love her. The only problem is she doesn't love me. I have come to accept this and I still include her in my prayers. The loving-kindness exercise was good but it was hard for me. I would rather pray for all of the evil people in the world than include my father's oldest son in the mix. However, I will not allow him to steal my feelings of peace and tranquility. My hope is to find a mentor to help me. I know if I had a good guide I would be able to overcome my hurdles much faster and easier than I am right now. Good luck on your journey Ellen! You will win in the end.
ReplyDelete